Saturday, 28 April 2012

Hip hip hooray - she's back!

My joyful, cute, smiling, adorable baby (2) has returned after weeks of hour-long tantrums, grumpiness and misery. I am experiencing all the relief of a person realising that the huge terrifying bear , which had been chasing her for miles, had been temporarily distracted by a jar of honey. Nervous joy. Knowing that the respite will most likely be short-lived. But so grateful for the fleeting relief.

Yesterday morning, as I heard her gradually awaken from her surprisingly sound restful sleep, my stomach did its usual nervous flip. What would she cry about? Would it be my hair? The fact that she didn't like what I was wearing? I held my breath.

''Mommy?'' she inquired, checking if I was nearby. I peered over the mountain of blankets which she had kicked off,  nervously checking her expression. I was greeted by a huge smile - her increasingly- rare, nearly-forgotten beautiful smile. I choked back tears of relief and joy.
''Mommeeee!!!!'' she shrieked happily. Yes, happily! I prayed silently that her mood would last a while longer.

And it did. In fact it lasted for the whole day. And for the whole of this morning. There've been smiles, laughter, dancing and singing. So much joy. Mine and hers.

I've been planting dozens of kisses all over her chubby little face. I've missed her so much.
''I yuv you sooo muts'' (She still hasn't mastered saying the 'ch' sound, which makes her accent sound very Cape Flats), she said a million times, hugging me.
I loved it when she took my face in her hands, stared deeply into my eyes and said, ''You're a good girl, Mommy, '' echoing the words I'd been saying to her for the whole day. My desperate attempt at positive reinforcement - in the hopes that she'd remember those words when her next tantrum was about to hit. Hoping that she'd remember that she was a good girl - and that that realisation would magically defuse the explosion.

But thankfully it hasn't come to that yet. She has just finished breakfast, chatting away happily - after having spent a few minutes shaking her hips shamelessly to the neighbours' blaring ''I'm sexy and I know it''.

She is on her way to the doctor with her dad, where her liver will be examined to see if it has reduced in size (It had been a bit enlarged at last week's visit). I'm praying that everything is normal in that regard.

I'm so relieved and happy right now. Although this past week has been difficult I have never stopped counting and appreciating my blessings. Just now, with Aisha's return to her normal happy self, this has been so much easier to do.

Let's hope and pray that this light, joy and positive energy are here to stay.

No comments: