Aisha's kindergarten concert success

After months of intense practice sessions, Aisha (3)'s creche/preschool concert was held on Saturday.

Since my 3 older kids had also attended this kindergarten, I was well aware of the months of arduous preparation that goes into this event. Training takes place on a daily basis and school schedules are adjusted accordingly. Parents (myself excluded) and teachers conjure up the loveliest little costumes which obviously depend on the theme of the concert for that particular year.

This year was no exception. Although we were treated to tidbits of their performance when Aisha was in the mood, we really had no clue as to what to expect. I was actually quite anxious about how she would react when walking out onto the stage in front of an unexpectedly crowded auditorium. I tried to prepare her for this at the older kids' talent show a few weeks ago by turning her around to face the crowd (since we were sitting close to the front) and telling her that that was what she could expect to see at her own concert. 

But I needn't have worried. As the kids confidently strode onto the stage, most of them had the self-assuredness of stage performers who had been wowing audiences for years. While we waited for Aisha (who was to enter second last in her class) to walk in, we held our breaths in nervous anticipation of her tears - but our little star delighted us with a broad smile and by enthusiastically waving at us (we were sitting right in front so she could see us clearly). 

Eventually my mother had to tell me to stop waving at her as she seemed to have forgotten where she was and was waving at her family excitedly instead of participating in the performance.

As is customary at the school, the first part of the show focused on the Islamic performances, with children reciting a duah (supplication) followed by a qasida 

Although we had a plain burqa which she could have worn and despite the fact that people often laugh at this frilly one which, admittedly, makes her look like Little Bo Peep - for me, the fact that it is so comical actually makes it cute (for someone her age only - you won't necessarily see me strutting about in Canal Walk looking like a maiden in search of her lost sheep).

The theme for this year's concert was "Around the world in 5 whirlwind visits". Each of the 5 classes represented a different country. 

Aisha's class represented Spain. We were told to drop them backstage with them wearing their black T shirt and black pumps under their Islamic wear. So imagine our surprise when they emerged looking like this.

Of course, everything did not go strictly according to plan, especially in the case of the Level One performers - many of whom were about 1 year old and some of whom started to cry (as I too would at the sight of a hundred people staring at me) - but despite this, the children's wonderful efforts evoked so much pride and joy from excited families. 

Level One (baby class) representing South Africa

Cape Minstrels

 Level 2s representing India

Level 3s (Aisha's class) representing Spain

Level 4s representing Mexico

Level 5s representing China 

The kids doing the most impressive dragon dance

Aisha seemed to lose interest in her performance about halfway through and decided to casually look around, examining the awesome props until we made eye contact with her and signalled her to participate in the performance.

I was amazed at how these tiny people were able to remember their dance steps and their lines and how confidently they performed in front of this excited shrieking crowd, which was made up of incredibly proud mommies and daddies; family and friends. I was so impressed at what those fabulous teachers had managed to accomplish with these little performers, some of whom could be quite temperamental, I'm sure.

Once again the staff and children of this kindergarten managed to pull off a successful show, creating memories upon which we will look back fondly and proudly again and again, (as we would have done with our older kids had our pictures and videos of their concerts not been deleted/ lost due to camera theft). 

Aisha with her teachers and some of her classmates

One happy unicorn

Despite the fact that Aisha (3) is my fourth child, I am so out of my depth when it comes to parenting her. 

She is delightful, funny, witty and so clever. I am amazed at the well-reasoned arguments of which she is capable. Well, amazed and sometimes irritated - because she is the only one of my kids, who at the age of 3, won't simply accept anything I say if she finds it to be illogical. She'll argue and argue until she proves her point.

She is also capable of wit and irony that has us completely dumbfounded. Her funny little sayings often have us in stitches, which then have her older siblings showering her with hugs and kisses.

But she is also the most stubborn and challenging of my kids (with Nuha, 8, coming in a close second). Even the most routine tasks present an uphill battle - dressing, eating, getting into the car - she challenges me at every turn.

She'll only wear very specific clothing items (she won't wear anything she considers to be boyish); she is fussy about what she eats and argues incessantly when I try to buckle her into the car seat. She hates wearing anything with long sleeves and refuses to be covered with a blanket even in the coldest weather. 

Even on Sunday, when Cape Town was covered in hail resembling a blanket of snow, I had to struggle to get her to wear something over her short sleeved T-shirt before we went out.

Cape Town on Sunday : Image obtained here

Cape Town (Sea Point) on Sunday: Image obtained here

And then there's her hair. A while back she wouldn't tie her hair at all. Then, a few months later, she would only have a ponytail positioned exactly halfway down the back of her head the way Nuha wore hers. So when she wanted her hair tied, she'd issue the order saying, "Mommy, will you please tie my hair up and down like Nuha's?" - 'up and down' referred to the place she wanted it positioned at the back of her head- not too high, not too low, squarely in the middle. But since she issued this order so often (as she has her hair tied and retied a few times a day), the order became, "Mommywillyoupleasetiemyhairupanddownlikenuha's" or she'd simply, from sheer laziness,  reduce it to random words in the request, like "mommypleasetieupdownnuha".

But, it is her latest hairstyle preference which presents a bit of a challenge. She has decided that she wants to be a unicorn, so her ponytail or plait has to be placed right in front of her head to resemble an unicorn's horn. 

This morning she wore it to school like this for the first time, attracting curious and amused glances from other parents and teachers alike. 

Yaayyy, long sleeves!!!!!!!

But I am happy - she went to school merrily with absolutely no tears or tantrums. Also, she allowed me to dress her in long sleeves without any arguments at all. So, I'm having a good day, Alhamdulillah. She can don her quirky hairstyle everyday if she would just always be as cooperative and happy as she was this morning. 

Aisha's struggle to adjust at school - and my resultant heartache

It is almost June - almost halfway through the year. By now kids are usually settled into their new schools and routines, have established their friendships and alliances for the year and know who their favourite teachers are.

Last year I remember telling Mo that I wished it was April 2013, because by then, we'd be over the worst. Shakeel (14) would be settled at high school (he started Grade 8 at the beginning of this year) and Aisha (3) would have adjusted to creche/playschool by then. She was of particular concern to me since, until then, she and I had always been at home alone; playing, arguing, crying and laughing. By the beginning of this year she had not established many relationships outside our home - she was even shy of her aunts and uncles whom we see fairly regularly.

Everyone assured me that it would be okay - she'd adjust quickly as children are resilient. Although I have 3 other kids, I had none of my own experiences and memories to draw on, since I was working at the time and, clearly had not been very tuned in to my other kids experiences [I admire moms who are able to do it all]. Either that, or I have just managed to block out some very unpleasant memories.

But, as it turned out, I was right to be concerned. In fact, assuming that she'd be settled by April had been too optimistic an assumption. She still cries most mornings, especially after weekends or holidays. The fact that she is suffering from creche syndrome - getting sick every other week - just makes matters worse, as staying out of school so often makes the adjustment process so much harder.

This happened over the past few days. She was home ill since Friday. This morning (Tuesday) went just as we'd expected - if not worse. She refused to dress at home, so we packed her clothes and bundled her into the car. Upon arriving at the school she started to scream hysterically. Mo put on the car heater and started to warm up her clothes, while I had the unenviable task of dressing a kicking and screaming toddler. Each time I'd put on an item of clothing, she'd pull it back off.

I felt frustrated and sad. My heart broke when, through her tears she kept saying, "Mommy, listen to me - please just listen to me". But what was I supposed to do when all she wanted to tell me was that she really didn't want to go to school. I tried to hug her, but she was hysterical and pushed me away angrily.

I realise that coddling her makes things worse, so - although it breaks my heart to do so - I treat her with firmness. She has this routine where she wants us each to kiss her thrice and then hug her thrice. If it ended there, all would be well, but she then proceeds to ask for more kisses and hugs merely to delay our departure, which seems to irritate her teacher, who is usually holding her by that point.

I am doubting our decision to send her to school. On the one hand, she is okay when I fetch her - in fact last week she was actually upset that I'd come to disturb her drawing and colouring time when I collected her from her after-care class. But, on the whole she really isn't over-enthusiastic about school. When I ask her how her day was, she'll often respond with, "I'll tell you later", which she hardly ever does.

Her sadness breaks my heart

Mo and I discussed the idea of keeping her home, but this doesn't seem to be the right thing to do if I consider how she is when she and I are at home alone. She still refuses to play by herself - she needs me to sit and play by her all the time. Yesterday, she cried each time I left her to do household chores. She wanted me to sit and play with her or read to her all day. She even resisted the idea of us heading outside or to a mall. My concern is not only that I am unable to get anything done with her here (I only made my bed when Mo came home at 17:00 yesterday afternoon), but more the fact that she becomes COMPLETELY dependent on me when she is at home. I am also concerned about the fact that she refuses to go outside with me, preferring to sit indoors and draw, read  or watch movies all day. I often wonder if she is emulating me - since I, too prefer to be indoors than out and about at malls among other people.

Should I leave her be - will it worsen her situation and well - turn her into me? Or should we just power through this? Is this amounting to character development or am I scarring her?

Then, of course, I have to consider whether this school is the right match for her. My other 3 kids loved their time at this school. But perhaps she might benefit from much smaller classes and individual care (there are about 20 - 30 kids in her class), but this might present a strain on our budget. I really don't know.

I am just feeling really sad and despondent this morning. I know that by now she probably is playing contentedly, but the question is - is there something else we could be doing to make her happy?

I just wish I had the answers.

Special moments on Aisha's birthday

Aisha turned 3 on Wednesday (last week). We did not have a big party, but made her day special in little ways.

Her dad bought her a (cheap) princess set comprising a crown, skirt, earrings, a necklace (which could not fit over her head) and a bangle (which I snapped while trying to put it on her arm). She glowed with joy at her gift.

Shakeel (13) could not contain his excitement and pride as his little sister paraded about in her princess attire. He insisted on snapping as many pics as possible (while he was supposed to be studying for his Maths exam).

Aisha with Elizabeth, our domestic worker

 And...the princess on her throne

Although we had decided to postpone giving her actual birthday present until her and Tharaa (10)'s joint birthday party this coming Friday, Nuha (7) insisted on giving her her gifts on her actual birthday.

 The older kids reminisced about the past three years, by showing Elizabeth video clips of Aisha as a baby.

 

We had an unscheduled supper at Canal Walk, where the kids had McDonalds, while Mo and I revelled in our newfound love affair with Thai food.

 I just love how a tub of bubbles can keep kids occupied for ages (allowing us to enjoy our meal in peace).

 

 

We got home and had a little party, where I surprised the kids with my homemade cake pops.

It was a simple day filled with special moments.

Aisha turns 3 - my sentimental kids say farewell to Aisha-as-a-2-year-old last night

My kids are very sentimental, always noting the significance of dates, times and places which are special and should therefore be forever etched in their memories.

Each year, the night before their respective birthdays, Shakeel (13) insists upon taking pictures of the birthday boy/girl; marking their last few hours at their present age. Before bedtime, there are excited exclamations of ''The next time we see you, you'll be X years old!'' or ''Enjoy your last few hours as a Y year old!''

Today Aisha turns 3. For the past few weeks Shakeel has been staring adoringly at his baby sister saying things like, ''You are no longer a baby. You are a toddler now, '' before squeezing the living daylights out of her.

As if sensing the end of an era, our clingy baby has miraculously started to disengage herself from our stifling bond and regularly opts to spend time with Elizabeth, our domestic worker instead.

In addition, for the past week, she is completely off the nappy.

This is also her fifth day without her precious boobies.

Much to my pride and grief , my daughter really is becoming a big girl.

My other kids too, felt particularly sentimental last night before bedtime when they said their final goodbyes to Aisha-as-a-2-year old. In accordance with their usual tradition, they took some farewell pics, while fussing over her - much to her delight.

Because the ritual was becoming too sad, they put on her favourite song and joined her in a ''Farewell to Aisha-as-a-2-year-old '' party.

I watched them, while snapping pics and fighting back tears of sadness, pride, gratitude and confusion. (No prizes for guessing from whom my kids inherited their sentimental natures).

Only at bedtime, as she lay in my arms, did I burst into a storm of sorrowful tears.

I realise that I am being completely foolish. So this morning, determined to yank myself out of my selfish misery, I looked at these pictures we took last night - and it made me laugh.

Today it's time to celebrate our new 3 year old!

I love this pic for Shakeel's adoring look at his little sister