Trying to turn around the effects of months of inactivity and poor eating

I'm addicted to sugar. While chocolate definitely is my drug of choice, I am just as easily satisfied by fudge, vanilla cupcakes or ice-cream.

By the end of last year, I was gymming regularly and eating fairly healthily. I was able to control what I ate - in fact, once I'd set out on that path, my cravings for unhealthy food pretty much disappeared.

Instead I craved Dr Oz's green drink, which I found to be the most satisfying thirst quencher during the blistering summer months. (Okay, I have to admit - the first time I tasted it a few years ago, I had to fight back the overwhelming urge to hurl. But 3 glasses later, I not only became accustomed to the taste - it actually became my beverage of choice.)

And then, one night at the beginning of this year, I decided to take a harmless bite of chocolate while watching Vampire Diaries. This led to another - and another - and another - until I'd devoured the entire slab.

And then, as I've seen my husband do, I alternated a teeny bit of something sweet, with something salty. This way I could continue to munch away through 4 episodes of Vampire Diaries without becoming nauseated.

So, over the months, even as our nightly dose of Vampire Diaries was replaced by the newest episodes of New Girl, Arrow, Revenge, The Following and Revolution, my ritual of something-salty-something-sweet which accompanies our TV time, persists. This is bliss for me - I look forward to it all day. I can't wait for the moment that all the kids are in bed, when I can just be transported away from my reality (with grumpy, argumentative, disobedient and cheeky kids and domestic turmoil) to the land of vampires/ quirky room-mates /gorgeous arrow-wielding heroes/  freaky serial killers /brilliant savvy heroines.

But just as the final episode for the night ends, so my guilt begins. Why did I eat so much? I didn't even really feel like that last piece of chocolate. Am I following on the path my father travelled - diagnosed with diabetes one week and then dying from a heart attack the next? And so on and so on and so forth.

This frustration also filtered into other areas of my life. Or perhaps it's fuelled by the stress of the other areas of my life. Either way, I've been feeling really out of control, which just seems to have fuelled the cycle of frustration and over-indulgence. I eat to feel better, but then only end up feeling worse.

But 2 Sundays ago Mo and I decided that enough was enough. Seeing each other's growing paunches reminded us of our own. So, after months of inactivity, we decided to head out for a brisk walk on the Green Point promenade. Although we didn't quite manage to accomplish what we'd set out to, the seed was planted. I started to feel more motivated during the past week.

Then, last Sunday we went to gym after goodness knows how long.

Shakeel (14), Tharaa (11), Nuha (8), Aisha (3) and I heading to gym - with purpose and determination (with Mo obviously playing photographer)

The kids headed off to the pool with their dad, while I did some cardio. As expected, the first few minutes were excruciating, as my lethargic muscles were so rudely awoken from months of inactivity. Then, as if my body remembered what it is capable of, the pain subsided and my pathetic gasps were replaced by even breaths.

I was actually reluctant to end my workout, but it was my turn to watch the kids so that Mo could re-acquaint himself with the exhilarating feeling I had just experienced.

I must admit that as I entered the steamy humid pool area, I felt a bit dizzy. But I managed to remain alert enough to keep Nuha (8) and Aisha (3) from drowning, watch Tharaa (11) perform her usual pool antics and applaud Shakeel (14) as he swam underwater across the pool with just one breath.

Aisha

Enjoying having the pool to themselves

Thankfully Mo returned before I collapsed and we headed home to enjoy a fairly healthy lunch.

Admittedly, I have not cut out chocolate completely. But I have cut down. I'd like to say that I know for sure that I will not have one tonight or tomorrow or the next day. But I can say that I definitely will try - and what's more, for the first time in a while, I feel like I might not need it to reach a happy place.

Now let's hope that none of the kids bring home party packets this afternoon.

Weight loss woes

I'm trying to lose some weight. Not much - just a few kilo's. I am getting really tired of having to force my belly roll into my body shaper before getting dressed.

Like this...






Image obtained here

The problem is that I don't have much time to spend at the gym, so I was really pleased one day when, while I was plodding along on the treadmill for what seemed like forever, one of the tyrants fitness instructors approached me, saying that I would be far less bored if I varied the intensity of my workout. This interval training worked ''by repeating a pattern of a high-speed period followed by a short recovery period throughout your workout''.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/15964-cardio-interval-training-treadmill/#ixzz29iv2WYSS

According to the instructor, this yielded much better results than simply trudging along slowly at a low intensity for hours on end. It was absolutely torturous as he stood next to me checking that I was not cheating. His drill sergeant routine, though very useful, convinced me that I will hate to work with a personal trainer. As a people-pleaser, I was more focused on not disappointing him than on results. Although, come to think of it, that may not be such a bad thing if it gets me to perform at my best and, in the end, yields better results than I would have achieved by myself. But, right now, that is a moot point since a personal trainer falls out of our budget. (waaay out).

Anyway, I generally only get to spend 30 -40 minutes at gym. That means spending 20 minutes on the treadmill doing interval training. I only cover about 2,5 km in those 20 minutes, but then I am doing some of that distance on an incline of above 4.0. Am I right to assume that that time is not too bad for a very unfit beginner?

I then spend the other 10 -20 minutes on other equipment doing the same type of varied intensity training.

A few days ago I had covered more than my usual distance within the allotted time. Though sweating like a pig, I felt awesome. I was convinced that I had lost a ton of weight. I even felt lighter. I was sure that I was as skinny as the toned blonde girl I'd been admiring for the entire 20 minutes.

Until I walked past a mirror. Blasted mirror - snuffing out my short-lived fantasy so cruelly.

I've also adjusted my eating habits, incorporating more fresh fruits and veg, wholegrains and some protein. But more importantly, I have reduced my portion sizes. It was while chatting to the guy who signed me up at the gym a few months back that I realised that I eat way too much. Seriously, I eat much more than what I need to survive. I eat when I'm stressed, nervous, depressed or unhappy. I eat when I'm bored or when Aisha (2) is in the middle of a tantrum with which I cannot cope. I use food as a crutch; especially sweet unhealthy snacks.

Cutting back on sugar has been really difficult. In fact, to be really honest, I'm not doing too well in that regard. Yes, I eat less chocolate at night, but that's not really saying much - it simply means that I've cut down from three quarter slab to about six blocks of a Cadbury slab per night. Still way too much, I know.

But at least now I have the decency to feel bad when I pig out. (Surely that counts for something?)

I was really stoked last week when I noticed my jeans fitting more loosely. Even my panty, which had been starting to fit like a G-string, was once again fitting like normal pair of briefs (which it actually is). I was on a high when I got to the gym; overcome with a tremendous sense of achievement. I was even brave enough to step onto the scale.

The damned thing showed that I have actually gained a kilo since starting gym. (Whaaat!!!)

But I'm not giving up. I choose to believe that the scale is in fact faulty (useless piece of crap). Or that muscle does indeed weigh more than fat (despite articles I just read stating that this is a myth).

So, as I'm sitting here, sipping a mug of green tea and munching on a blasted eat-sum-more biscuit (Aisha waved the darned thing in my face - what was I supposed to do?), I am psyching myself up for an energetic workout at gym tonight. I'm actually really looking forward to it.

　

Baby steps toward healthy eating

A few months back Mo and I were attending gym regularly, I started to eat more healthily and actually saw the results. I lost a kilo or two and felt amazing - so energetic and chirpy. Then the kids' blasted formal assessments started and gym ceased. Since then we've been really lazy - unable to get back into the swing of things. This led to a downward spiral - both of us have gained back that kilo or two ( a conservative estimate based on wishful thinking) and I became really lethargic, grumpy, lumpy and gross.

Since Ramadaan will be starting soon (in July) we realised that it was time to stop our gluttony and focus on our health. We wanted to ensure that we would fast more easily - I've noticed that fasting becomes difficult when I've been eating unhealthily - instead of feeling normal hunger pangs, I feel this horrible burning sensation in my stomach when I get hungry. Also, being at optimal health will (hopefully) ensure that we have sufficient energy to get through the days ahead.

So, a few days ago I dragged my wobbly butt back to gym. I hadn't anticipated how difficult it would be to restart my workout programme. It was so much easier when I'd started for the first time a few months ago. Anyway, after grunting and sweating my way through 25 minutes of anguish, a voice (which at that moment seemed like the sweetest voice in the world) released me from my torment by announcing that the gym was now closed.

I have also been reading up on improving one's health. While standing in the Pick 'n Pay checkout queue, I even put down the copy of Cosmopolitan and chose the Natural Medicine magazine instead (that, in itself, felt like an achievement). But I'm glad I chose it - while many people still view homeopaths and natural medicine practitioners as kooks, I can't help but feel like they might have a point - maybe Western medicine doesn't have all the answers. Maybe we should focus on ways to prevent disease through healthy living rather than simply popping pills when disease strikes.

An article by Dr Elson M Haas on ''The Purification Process'' explains how one can improve health and prevent disease by balancing the need to

(i) treat deficiency (where the body lacks sufficient nutrients to meet its needs) on the one hand, and

(ii) treat congestion (where the body is unable to get rid of all the toxins with which we fill our bodies).

I tend to focus on the first part - deficiency, always convinced that every niggling ache or pain can be healed by taking some or other nutritional supplement. This article makes it clear that this is only part of the equation, the other being ridding the body of the toxins congesting it.

For me the first part of the process described is easy - eat healthy balanced meals and take a nutritional supplement (since food nutrient levels are lower because of lack of soil minerals). The second step - purifying the body - is a bit tricky for me. It involves 'clearing the body of habits or abuses and even addictions' by staying a way from caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, food chemicals, etc. The two toxins I will struggle to eliminate would be the sugar in food and the toxins in beauty products/cosmetics.

I honestly don't know how to cut out sugar, even for a short time. I have tried on numerous occasions, but always end up succumbing to the craving. (Thank goodness, I'm not allowed (by my religion) to consume alcohol / drugs - with my total lack of willpower, I would most likely end up the talentless middle-aged version of Amy Winehouse).

As for the toxins in beauty products, I'm not too despondent yet, since I haven't tried natural products yet. For all I know there is an amazing product out there that can keep my dry ageing leathery skin from fossilizing completely, the way my tried and tested Clinique Superdefense cream seems to do .

But for now I'm trying sl-o-w-l-y to focus on the healthy eating. I have not managed to cut out sugar or other additives completely yet, but I'm focusing rather on including more fresh fruit, vegetables, water and herbal teas (which I love).

Here's proof of my dedication. I started to change my all my lunches to include salad or pan-roasted veggies (whatever I can find in the fridge).

Here I happened to find green beans and carrots which I pan-roasted in olive oil and flavoured with salt (just a pinch), pepper, a sprig of rosemary and my new ( well, new to me), favourite culinary discovery - Garlic Addict by Cape Herb & Spice. This fragrant seasoning consists of roasted garlic, onion, red pepper, sea salt, black peppercorns, green pepper and parsley - and none of the unpronouncable ingredients which make other seasonings so unhealthy. I had this with boiled eggs. Oh, and a slice of brown toast (because I'd starve without my carbs).

Now this is going to sound like a tall tale, but I had a KFC salad for lunch today, while everyone else ordered rounders and Streetwise meals. I even took a picture of it to add to my healthy list of lunches to show you. Then I accidentally deleted it. I know it sounds unbelievable, but I swear it's true. This was definitely my least favourite healthy lunch for the week - not because there was anything wrong with the meal itself, but because I really do not enjoy raw lettuce. For me, the flavour (or lack of it) just does not justify me having to chew and chew and chew with my remaining four molars. Again, I must add, there was nothing wrong with this salad - let's just blame it on my lack of chewing teeth.

I have to admit that my suppers are a bit more difficult to amend, because I am cooking for four kids and a husband, who - although he should be eating more healthily- just does not seem to want to do so. A plate of veggies on the dinner table evokes varying reactions from my kids. Aisha (2) and Nuha (7) respond with excitement - even exhiliration, Shakeel (13) consumes it resignedly, while Tharaa (10) bursts into tears of panicked horror. Whether creamed, steamed or stir-fried, her reaction to veggies is always the same.

So, as you can see, I really am just taking baby steps. Nothing too dramatic. But I am starting to feel better. Less bloated. More positive - at least I'm doing something to address my expanding waistline instead of just glaring at myself in the mirror.

I'll keep you updated if I manage to keep this up and improve on it. If I relapse, I'll just delete this post and pretend I'd never written it.

Exercise and writing - our first new winter indoor activities

One of my concerns this past holiday was how to limit my kids' screen time. They were limited to two hours of screen time (which included TV, Playstation and computer) per day. This allotted time was usually staggered throughout the day.


While they managed to sneak in extra time on some days, on others they would spend most of their allotted time playing outside / on family outings.


Before Mo took leave last week, the kids and I spent our mornings in gym - with the older two on the cardio circuit with me, while the younger two played in the gym's designated play area. Since 2 year old Aisha is not at school yet, the experience of being in a public play area with other children was a major source of excitement.


On Tuesday I bravely (and, as it turned out - stupidly) agreed to allow them to swim at the gym. So after I'd had my workout, we collected the younger two at the play area. While Shakeel (12) waited for us at the pool, Tharaa (10) helped me to get the younger two ready in the ladies' changing rooms. They giggled with much amusement as I tried to squeeze my darling Aisha (2)'s giant head into the tiny swimming cap.

The kids thoroughly enjoyed their time in the water. I readied myself to dive in at a moment's notice, should either of the younger two experience difficulty. Aisha stayed on the wide step at the edge of the pool, while 7 year old Nuha bravely swam a strange, but cute combination of doggy paddle and breast-stroke down the length of the pool. Since she is not a confident swimmer yet, I walked alongside her while Tharaa stayed with Aisha.


Shakeel and Tharaa, as usual, were competitive and noisy and I constantly had to remind them that this was not our local public pool. They swam laps - each trying to beat the other's time.


It was all going swimmingly - until Aisha started to cry, saying that she was getting cold. I panicked, because I knew what was to follow. I ordered the others of the pool, but as usual, they begged to be allowed one more lap. As I spoke, they dove underwater, pretending not to hear me. Until I said, ''Guys, Aisha is about to have a tantrum''. Which is when they swiftly leaped out of the water and into the changing rooms before she emitted her first piercing shriek.


I'd clearly not thought ahead when agreeing bring the kids swimming in cold weather all by myself. Although the indoor pool is heated, it was icy outside, so I could not leave until they had showered and dried their hair. Aisha became increasingly tired and agitated, moaning and then screaming all the while. I got stares from the other women in the locker room - not all of them understanding. A young lady flashed me a sympathetic smile as she, no doubt, witnessed the perspiration dripping from my forehead.


With a frozen smile I dragged screaming Aisha past the lounge area, in which the well-groomed toned bodies were enjoying their morning coffee (or more likely herbal teas). Never again, I promised myself.


At home we spent the cold days indoors. I gave the children writing exercises to do, having gotten the idea from a homeschooling mother of eight kids. This amazing mommy blogger (who blogs at this address ) gave this advice on how to tackle creative writing. So borrowing this idea, I decided to make writing a holiday activity. Admittedly, this was initially not received with overwhelming enthusiasm, but after a few minutes the noisiness died down and the only sound that could be heard, were those of fervent pencils scratching paper. What added to their excitement was the fact that I'd asked them to do a dramatic reading of their writing - and oh, how they love being dramatic!

Despite some of their initial complaints, I could not stop them once they'd started writing. Following the advice of amazing mommy blogger mentioned earlier, I did not focus on spelling and provided the correct spelling of words only when asked.

They were, themselves, surprised at how much they had to write (even on topics about which they had initally felt they had nothing to say). Very often one simply just has to start writing - and the ideas will flow.

The dramatic readings were just as I'd imagined them to be. Shakeel hid his discomfort and shyness with displays of over-the-top theatrics. Tharaa marvelled at how well her brother expressed himself in writing (and I too was really impressed).

Tharaa's delivery of her reading was more understated, but dramatic. I was amazed at her language usage and the way her sensitivity reflected in her writing. As I had expected, she read out her piece with confidence.

Nuha, who is usually quite shy, surprised me with her willingness to stand in front and read her one-page essay (while often getting confused at her own unique spelling). I was amazed at how much detail she recorded in her writing - this tendency enabled her to flesh out a topic about which I'd thought she would not have much to say. She read her piece earnestly and seriously, but oh-so-adorably!

Then it was two-year old Aisha's turn. She stood in front of us, holding her page of scribbles and started to 'read'. Her delivery was dramatic - arms flailing wildly; facial expressions showing her passion. The random words, which she had strung together to form meaningless sentences, were spoken with expression - her voice deepening and lilting as required by the context of her gibberish.

This year I am determined to use the icy weather to its best advantage. Winter need not be a season of gloom. It can provide families with the opportunity to become creative, as they try to find stimulating and exciting ways to keep themselves occupied indoors. More importantly (for me), spending this time indoors (while creating indoor fun) can foster a feeling of closeness, togetherness and warmth - which is the perfect antidote to the chilly winter weather.

School, homework, gym/karate, madrassah- is this overscheduling?

I always compare my childhood - during which I remember playing outside with friends, climbing the tree in our backyard, riding bicycles, rollerskating, playing hopscotch, playing in the park etc - with the type of lives children lead today.


Children today seem to be so busy; always involved in some or other structured after-school activity. According to an article I read, some of the negative effects of overscheduling in our kids' lives include kids:
- feeling tired, anxious, or depressed
- complaining of headaches and stomach aches, which may be due to stress, missed meals, or lack of  sleep
- falling behind in their schoolwork, causing their grades to drop


I promised myself that I would never burden my kids that way.


However this week, I feel as if I have been doing just that.


We recently joined the gym (as a family). We did not merely embark upon this (rather expensive) activity for pleasure alone - I believe that Mo and I really need it (with his terrifyingly high blood pressure and my frustratingly out-of-control stress and anxiety levels).


We'd been talking about going running for ages, but this has just never materialised since we did not have anyone to look after the two youngest kids. Gym has provided the perfect solution, since there is a well-supervised play centre for the two youngest, while the two older kids are allowed to use most of the cardio equipment.


However, the kids also have karate on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday mornings. I'm not too strict about them attending karate in the week, but this week I insisted since they will be grading on Saturday.


In addition to gym and karate, the kids also usually have a mountain of homework. Although, come to think of it, I'm not sure if the volume is really the reason it takes hours to complete, or if they just drag it out since they have nothing else to do in the afternoons.


Another activity still to be added to the list, is madrassah (Islamic school). Now I remember coming home from school every afternoon and skipping off to madrassah every afternoon from Monday to Thursday - yet I recall still having loads of play-time afterward.


So we are looking at sending them to madrassah on a Sunday morning for three hours.


Their free time for the week will therefore include: an hour before bedtime, Fridays after school, Saturday after karate and Sunday after madrassah.


I can't help but worry that we might be depriving them of unstructured time for free play.


So their schedules will be as follows:


Monday - Thursday
7:55 - 14:30    --          School


15:10               --         Arrive home


15:10 - 15:30   --         Break


15:30 - 17:30   --         Homework


17:30 - 18:30 ish--      Gym / Karate


18:45               --          Arrive home


18:45 - 19:20   --         Supper and Bathtime (for all)


19:20 - 20:30   --         Play / Relax until bedtime

I think we can be more flexible with gym on Fridays, so as to give them the entire afternoon after school (and evening) to themselves.

Saturday karate is from 10:30 - 12:30.
Sunday madrassah is also in the morning some time.

I know that the detail provided by this post is incredibly mundane, but I'm really just using this to formulate my thoughts. (In fact seeing their time-table laid out like this is really helpful to me - until now their weekly schedule has just appeared to me as a busy blur).

About the free time I'm so intent on preserving for them - let's face it, with our lifestyle and surroundings, my kids would not be cycling outside (due to lack of safety), climbing trees, playing hopscotch or enjoying the fresh outdoor air. They'd most likely be glued to the TV, or sneakily playing games on my phone (since playing Playstation during the week is prohibited).

But still, isn't the point that they be given enough free time within which to do as they wish (within set limits, of course)?

The question is - is the free time they have available for themselves, sufficient? Are we over-burdening them with activities?

It is very challenging to establish a schedule which meets everyone's varied needs (including Mo's and my health needs). The best I can do for now is to stick to this schedule provisionally and monitor each of the kids carefully.

Perhaps I'm over-thinking (the way I always tend to do). But, like all parents, I really just want the best for my kids.

I feel good!

I really enjoyed today. No, I didn't do anything spectacular; I didn't win anything, nor did I go anywhere exotic.

Today was one of the very few days during which I did not have to make an effort to feel good. Today it was easy.

Everything lined up to make this day really lovely. My wonderful friend, who is visiting from abroad, popped in with her cute, adorable and friendly baby. I didn't realise how much I missed her until she was here. And then I didn't want her to leave.

I had long since resigned myself to the fact that I don't really have close female friends any longer. My close friendships have waned over the years. It happened gradually and, since life had become so busy, I hadn't really noticed. Until today, that is.

Talking to a friend, laughing, grumbling and supporting - oh how I missed that! Not to have to carry the weight of my concerns and worries inside - bottled up. To be able to share, unburden - the relief of having a sympathetic ear. Someone who understands.

How I missed the relief and lifted spirits caused by laughter (even at our own self-deprecating humour).

I was really sad when she left. I cannot wait for her next visit to SA.

As the day progressed, I started to feel lethargic and physically tired. Fortunately I resisted the temptation to bunk gym. Our routine is still quite unsettled, since we have had so many other commitments during this week. More importantly, on the two other occasions we went to gym (since joining two weeks ago), our main concern has been that two year old Aisha and Nuha (7) would refuse to go to the childcare centre at the gym. To my surprise Aisha happily waddled off toward the toys once we dropped her there, which was a HUGE relief.

Since we are still incredibly unfit, we have limited our workouts to an intense 30 minutes. I spent 10 minutes on the stepping machine, bicycle and treadmill respectively. I really pushed myself on the treadmill- starting off by running (trying to keep up with the super-fit hot babe next to me) for five minutes, after which I adjusted the setting to a steep incline, which I tackled for another five minutes.

Shakeel (12) and Tharaa (10) cycled, stepped and rowed. As with everything else he does, Shakeel really pushed himself, as he is always trying to outdo himself. Tharaa, on the other hand, just kept going because she just loves to be active.

I was so happy when Nuha later informed us that she and Aisha had really enjoyed their stay at the childcare centre. Hopefully this means that we can visit the gym more regularly - without having to worry about whether the younger two are okay.

I left the gym feeling energised and happy.

Normally, at the end of a day, I cannot help the negative thoughts which may creep into my mind - like unpleasant events of the day or anything about which I may be feeling anxious.

But not tonight. I'm not sure about the cause of the positive energy pervading my mind and body. 

I'm just really grateful for the contentment I'm feeling tonight.