Thursday, 19 July 2012


So now thankfully, you've caught up with me in age. 39! I cannot think of anyone who has grown as much as you have over the past few years. It's as if you have just emerged from your cocoon and the result is a splendid admirable human being.

You are my polar opposite. I am only just starting to understand you. Because we are so completely different, I am able to learn and draw from your strengths.

Unlike me, you couldn't care less what people think about you (especially not negative people). You have never let others' opinions hold you back, which is why you have embarked upon so many projects and tried so many things about which others would perhaps think, but not have the guts to do. Even when your endeavours end in failure, you have the ability not to let that failure define or negatively affect you. Within no time, you are dusting yourself off and trying again. Nothing can hold you back.

As someone who is driven/ restricted/ crippled by other people's opinions, I admire your who-gives-a-crap attitude. Your courage makes you do things other men wouldn't (like wearing that pink shirt to work this morning - eish, that took guts).
A part of you to which I could never relate, was your positivity. As a glass-half-empty type of person, your optimism scared me. Until I started to understand it's value. How it causes you to soar. To do things others won't. To live without regret.
In our years together we have battled through what seemed like endless obstacles. I remember a time we didn't even have taxi fare for you to get to work. At times like those I'd become despondent. You, on the other hand, just forged ahead. Where one door would close, you'd bang down another.  I remember a friend of mine talking about someone having married money. I, on the other hand, knew that I had married potential. The faith I lacked in myself, I had in you. I always knew deep down that you were capable of awesomeness.

And awesome you have turned out to be. With a mixture of envy and admiration I watch how, when  presented with a challenge, you are able to - after careful analysis - emerge with a workable solution. You are the person to whom people turn in times of uncertainty. A natural born leader.

You cannot resist the urge to problem-solve. When someone found himself homeless, you gave him a place to stay. I remember one day before we were married, we had finally managed to secure some time together, when I noticed you were really edgy. Something was clearly bothering you. And when I looked around, I saw a guy struggling to change his tyre. You could not rest until you had helped him. [Didn't do much for my sense of self-worth though].  You were the guy who could not drive past anyone who was stuck alongside the road. You had to stop to assist. [I blame your time in the scouts for that].
Through you, so many people who had been unemployed with no future prospects, now have the skills with which to build a future. I'm talking about Witness, Elliot, Ronald, John, Hashim etc etc, all of whom came to you with no real employments prospects, but who now, thanks to your training, are able to go out into the world and forge lives for themselves with your blessing and encouragement.

Whoever said that only women have the ability to multi-task, clearly has not met you. You have your day job as a B.A. and your after-hours job as a panelbeater/spraypainter.

From what I've heard, you excel at both. I don't know much about your day job, but the oohing and aahing of your spraypainting clients are sufficient indication as to your talents in this area, (in which you are self-taught). I've witness you transforming rusty broken crappy vespas into this:

Just like last week, when you taught yourself how to do airbrushing using just the internet. You transformed drab old motorbike parts (of which I don't have the ''before'' pictures) and produced something amazing.

Here is the work-in-progress
THE END RESULT ( which one unfortunately cannot capture properly on camera, since it is difficult not to catch one's reflection in the shiny paintwork)

(Isn't that amazing? Did I mention that he's self-taught?)

I admire your abilities and respect your opinions (except when they clash with mine, in which case they're just stupid). You have the ability to simplify and shed light upon the most complex matters, making you the one to whom many turn with their problems.

One of the most valuable lessons I've gained from knowing you is to not let negative words about others pass one's lips. I have become aware of how easily - and often - people (no, not just women) pass negative comments behind each other's backs. It is second nature to many (including me). Yet, no matter how bizarre a person's actions may be, once that person leaves the company, you will usually be the only one who won't comment on the person's behaviour in his/her absence. You constantly warn us against being judgemental and acting morally superior, because gossiping about another person's flaws/sins is often as bad (or worse) than the deed/sin about which one is gossiping.

I appreciate how you are not afraid to show how you feel. You don't care about being macho (which brings me back to the pink shirt [kidding]). You are not afraid to tell people how important they are to you. Like this morning, when you said how happy you are to have me as a wife. To be on the receiving end of such validation, is priceless.


                B.A. BY DAY, SPRAYPAINTER BY NIGHT!!!!!


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