A dramatic morning - Tharaa heads off to camp and Shakeel's morning of forgetfulness

Every year the 3 senior grades at my kids' primary school venture out into the world, leaving their yearning, aching, grieving mommies behind. Or perhaps that's just my reaction to my kids going on school camp.

Today was, once again, Tharaa (11)'s turn. She had been talking about it for the past 2 weeks - though not as happily as one might expect, because unfortunately she seems to take after her clingy mother and was therefore dreading leaving the family behind.

So, selfishly, I left her to make her own arrangements while I carried on, happily in denial. 

Until yesterday, when I realised that the day I'd been dreading was nearly upon us and that I'd been so wrapped up in my own issues that I'd left my poor baby to do her own planning and packing. So, to assuage my guilt, I set about baking cupcakes - loads and loads of them, as if burying her in cupcakes would compensate for my selfishness.

So, as expected, this morning was a crazy rush. The bus was due to leave at 07:30 a.m. , which meant that we had to leave here by 07:10. But, by 07:20 I was still, after 30 minutes of negotiating, screaming and yelling, trying to get Aisha (3) dressed. It was also round about that time that I discovered that Tharaa had only packed one pair of shoes, no long sleeved tops, no socks and neither a toothbrush nor soap. 

And then, as we headed out the door, Nuha (8) spotted Shakeel (14)'s Social Science (History and Geography) notebook on the table along with his pencil case. I felt ill - my son had forgotten his study notes and stationery on the morning of such an important exam!! I debated whether I should greet Tharaa there and then (sending her off with her dad) and then rush off to Shakeel's school OR just let him suffer the consequences of his negligence.

But I had no time to waste by thinking about it - so I packed his stuff into the car and undertook to deal with that (or not) once Tharaa was safely on the bus. 

The drive to the school was torturous, with Aisha screaming and yelling that she did not want to be strapped into the car seat. Despite the fact that I'd conceded to her wearing her tattered (and I mean completely punctured with holes) pink tights to school, she remained in a bad mood because of the stressful start to the day.

I felt sorry for Tharaa. Before we left home, she'd walked into our room and then become all teary as she embraced Mo and me. In the car, she sat worrying about the very real possibility that she might miss the bus. Then, to make matters worse, just as we headed into town, a bus - exactly like the one they were to take - drove toward us in the opposite direction. I silently prayed that we had not caused her to miss her camp. Instead of the takeaway meal Mo promised he'd buy for her on our way to school, he only had time to grab a small pie.  But I don't think she'll starve - although she only took half the cupcakes, she still has enough with her to feed a small army. 

The goodbyes were not as difficult this year. I promised her that I would not embarrass her by crying and I hardly shed a tear, but focused on being happy for her instead. Maybe I'm growing up. Even she seemed happy and excited. Maybe she's happy that I'm growing up.

Tharaa - right in front wearing the pink scarf

After kissing  and hugging her and then running after her to kiss her and hug her again - and again - they finally headed off. And naturally, this was when Aisha started to cry for her sister. By that time I'd had enough of her nagging and tears and, for the first time, I was actually relieved at the prospect of dropping her off at school.

And then I was left with the decision as to what to do about Shakeel's notebook and pencil case. Mo felt that I should just leave him to suffer the consequences of his negligence, which I would probably have done had the consequences been him having to suffer punishment by missing a break or detention. But, what if the notebook meant the difference between him getting 70% or 80% or, heaven forbid, passing or failing! And with that thought, I jumped into the car and dashed to school to ensure that my child got his hands on this potentially life-changing notebook. 

Arriving at the school, I wondered whether this was really necessary or if I was just making an arse of myself - after all, the notebook contained very few pages of written work, since most of his studying was probably done from his textbook, which I was certain he had with him. But, then deciding that there might just be a vitally important paragraph in the notebook which could make all the difference, I headed into the school.

When I got back home, I heaved a huge sigh of relief as I walked through the door. I was alone, with a stressful morning of averted crises safely behind me. I started to tidy up, when - on Shakeel's bed - I saw his Social Science text book.

" #$%^  it, " I told myself, " that kid's on his own."

And I sat down to enjoy the remaining pile of cupcakes.

A short, but welcome study break - off to Hout Bay we go

Yesterday late afternoon we decided to grant Shakeel (14) a much-needed break from studying. Our stress levels had been running quite high all weekend since he is writing Maths, Natural Science, Social Sciences (History and Geography), English and Life Orientation this week.

We headed off to Snoekies in Hout Bay for a very late lunch. Since I hadn't been there in quite a while, I was pleasantly surprised to see that they now also make provision for those of us with a sweet tooth by selling a tiny assortment of little cakes and coffee. Since I was in no mood for seafood and chips yesterday, I was really happy to make dessert the highlight of my meal.

After lunch (which was really closer to supper time) we headed off to the sand dunes as we usually do, as the prospect of running and leaping down the dunes is the main reason the kids want to come to Hout Bay. But, by the time we headed in the direction of the beach, the temperature had dropped considerably and, to our surprise even Aisha (3), who has a serious aversion to long-sleeves, asked for a jacket (since I hadn't packed one for her, she was contented to drown in her dad's).

The kids were disappointed that their plans to tackle the dunes had been foiled, so - to make it up to them - we headed off to KFC to get avalanches for the older 3 and a small ice-cream for Aisha (since it is never too cold for ice-cream apparently).

As we headed around the bend out of Hout Bay, entering Llundudno, we were - as we usually are - completely taken aback by the spectacular views. We pulled over to the side of the road just adjacent to the spot where the most impressive African art and sculptures were being sold, where we enjoyed our dessert.

And then, as usual, Aisha could not finish her ice-cream. When I reprimanded her for wasting food, she retaliated by throwing my own words back at me, "But ice-cream is unhealthy," she chided. "Why did you buy it for me? You are naughty, mommy - you know it will make me sick."

Despite the cold, the children enjoyed playing on the grass patch while we admired the views (which will really never - no matter how many times one witnesses it - cease to amaze).

Although brief, the afternoon was lovely and served to rejuvenate Shakeel, which allowed him to study for a further 2 hours.

I pray that he and all the other learners writing exams this week achieve excellence in all their tests.

Aah crap - it's that time again

I spent part of yesterday afternoon converting decimals to proper and mixed fractions. I also spent a confusing few moments trying to fathom the best method to do seventh grade long division systematically. Maths, for me, has always been painful.

Yes, it's that time again. The kids' formal assessments and exams are, once again upon us, bringing along with it the usual stress (mine), tears (mine) and arguments.

Shakeel (13) and Tharaa (10) brought home their test time-tables last week, based upon which, I drafted study schedules - for them to ignore. Because, really that is what has been happening - I estimate how much time each learning area will take to complete and work out at what time they should move on to the next subject. They, in turn, just ignore my suggestions and do whatever they feel like doing.

I felt that leaving the two of them to work in the same area would be a good idea, since they could motivate each other and Shakeel could perhaps help Tharaa should she need it. That was the plan - in theory. In reality, working together has resulted in nothing but arguments, fights and mutual irritation.

''Stop singing!'' I heard Shakeel say irritably during last night's study session. To which Tharaa responded by singing more loudly.

''I'm going to hurt you!'' he threatened. Needless to say, she sang even louder.

He hurled a pencil at her. She tossed it back. He then got up and walked toward her threateningly.

''Mommeeeee! Shakeel wants to hurt meeee!'' she complained.

''She's singing. I can't concentrate!'' he responded angrily.

I had had enough. It was late and I'd been tolerating their shit since they'd come home from school. I snapped.

''If I hear another word from you two I will moer you both!'' I yelled like a depraved lunatic. They went silent, eyeing each other while trying to suppress their sniggers, thoroughly amused at having pushed their ordinarily-well-behaved mother over the edge.

Meanwhile, as usual, poor Nuha (7) fades into the background. We were not given a clear brief on the preparations required for her formal assessments, so I just focus on the weaknesses identified in her last report card, viz, retelling a story she reads - in her own words - to display comprehension.

But, then, as usually happens, Aisha (2) will interrupt the older kids, demanding attention with her bossiness and tantrums. So, sneakily, I have decided to kill two birds with one stone by getting Nuha to read to her little sister - and so doing, she practises her reading while babysitting her sister.

And to think, that in a few years time, I'll have FOUR schoolgoing kids preparing for tests and formal assessments. I can barely wait.

Image obtained here

Image obtained here

Tired, frustrated and just plain g^tvol

Finally the end of the kids' exams and formal assessments are in sight. Tomorrow afternoon life returns to normal.


I cannot describe how happy I'll be when it is all over. With Shakeel (13) writing his first full-scale exam (as opposed to formal assessments comprising of class tests and projects), my stress levels have been through the ceiling. Combine that with the drama/ trauma of his high school applications and you'll realise why I feel like downing an entire bottle of Rescue Remedy right now.


I have been explaining, drafting questions, studying and memorising alongside them, trying all the while to keep them motivated and prevent them from being distracted. I've screamed, threatened, begged and bribed. I've pinched and punched and threatened to inflict serious bodily harm. I'm exhausted.


It would be easier for me to write all their tests/ exams myself, instead of trying to persuade them to study. Really, it would.


Tharaa (10) has surprised me with her ability to grasp difficult concepts and memorise them. However her playfulness is making me feel like I need to separate myself from her for a bit - before I give her a kick in the arse. Earlier I watched her fake-sobbing while answering the Economic and Management Sciences revision sheet I drafted for her. Before that I caused her to burst into heartbroken tears when I interrupted the game she invented - tipping her chair upside-down and then letting her stationery (pens and erasers) slide down its back one by one. Then, while we read through her notes on " The iron and steel industry in SA" she tensed her body and writhed in frustration because she could not join in the game Nuha (7) and Aisha (2) were playing. I cannot wait for her bedtime.


Shakeel (13) is writing Natural Science and Economic and Management Sciences tomorrow. He is complaining about being bored of studying the same work over and over, since he had finished studying for these subjects a while back. I'm concerned that his over-confidence could result in him making stupid mistakes. But I'm washing my hands of this problem and (perhaps stupidly) trusting in his judgement.


Tharaa still has to complete an entire section of work - and then revise. But she's on her own with that - there is no way I'm missing Isidingo (a popular local soapie) tonight - [what with Calvin being exonerated tonight and Rodney very likely being exposed as being Charlie's rapist. I'm soooo excited!!!] Don't judge - I've been trying to get her to study and revise all day - it's not my fault that she's only waking up to the urgency of her situation now.


Tomorrow this time exams/ formal assessments will be over. The mere thought has me giddy with joy.

[Later edited to add: Isidingo turned out to be a total anti-climax]