Saturday, 24 December 2011

Transforming into a people person? Unlikely (but it's a start)

For some reason this socio-phobe has been feeling uncharacteristically lonely and in need of company (outside of my immediate family) for the past few days.

I can't explain it. Maybe it's the feeling of celebration and joy prevalent this time of the year. Spending too much time on Facebook, where people are expressing the joy being derived from togetherness with family and friends, has definitely played a role.

I've also been feeling rather nostalgic- longing for the good old days when I actually enjoyed being out and about among people.

I think Mo hit the nail on the head when he identified part of the problem as being a longing for a simpler more carefree time. A time when my biggest concern was meeting curfew for fear of being grounded by my dad- and even that had been strangely exhilarating.

The fact that my older three kids have been spending a few days with my mom has left me with fewer things on which to focus. Even clingy Aisha has been strangely independent of me for the past few days, preferring the company of that freakin' annoying purple dinosaur. The relentless sound of Barney tunes seems to keep the child hypnotised, though she occasionally leans down to offer her stuffed toy Barney 'a great big hug and a kiss'  as per the theme song.

So here I am sitting, feeling ridiculously sombre. Ridiculous, because I know that as soon as someone should invite us to spend a day with them, I will most likely wish they hadn't, and will once again prefer to spend time in my own company (and that of my immediate family).

Having written the above earlier today, I am quite surprised by the fact that we have been asked to accompany some people for a day out- and I'm really excited! Could this be the beginning of me turning into a normal well-adjusted sociable individual? For my husband's and kids' sakes, I hope so.

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