A period of terror and joy - and an interesting case study

Yesterday morning I arose with butterflies in my stomach. As usual I tiptoed about the room, choosing my clothes for the day - so cautiously, so stealthily and so fearfully; as if afraid to awaken a sleeping bear.

But there was no bear. Oh no, this was so much worse. So much more terrifying. The sound of its shallow even breathing alone was enough to turn my insides to jelly. My shaky hands lifted my shirt off the dressing table - I froze with dread as one of its buttons knocked gently against the dressing table surface. I fought back tears of relief - there was no movement.

And then, suddenly -from a dark corner of the room, I heard it. My pulse quickened. It couldn't be. Again - movement. I prayed silently, '' Please let it be my imagination!''

Then - silence. My prayers answered. Or so I'd thought...

''Mommeeeee!'' came the voice. Two hours earlier than her (two-year old Aisha's) usual waking-up time. Guaranteeing her exhaustion and hence, a day of tantrums and ill-temper.

''Hello, my darling!'' I said, a cheerful smile plastered to my face. Only the beads of perspiration on my brow revealed my inner terror.

She stared at me for an unbearable few seconds. Time slowed to a torturous pace. I waited, not knowing what the mood would be. Hoping. Praying.

She smiled. Again, tears of relief. Short-lived relief.

''I want my panty and my 'going clothes'. (She sleeps in a nappy, but wears a panty during the day. Her 'going clothes' are her day clothes, i.e. not her pyjamas - her clothes for going places).
''Okay, darling, '' I said, a bit too cheerfully.

I did as commanded and returned the items to her bed. (She will not get up until I've dressed and changed her).

My hand brushed her tummy. She giggled. My heart filled with hope. I touched her tummy again. This time - laughter.

Then, becoming braver, I leaned down, pretending to chew her tummy with my lips.
The laughter stopped. But no anger followed. Just, it seemed, disappointment at me having ruined the game.

''Mommy, be sensible,'' was her vexed rebuke.

''Er, excuse me?'' I asked, not sure if I'd heard correctly.

''Please be sensible,'' she repeated.

And so began another day of ill-tempered tantrums and tirades, interspersed though, with delightful laughter and ongoing surprises at all she is learning. Her broadening vocabulary never ceases to amaze me, especially as she throws my words back at me (as shown above). Her clever comments have me dumbfounded and excited. The loving way in which she comes to hug me and plants kisses all over my face, melts my heart - even when, after allowing me to plant a few kisses on her chubby cheeks, she will abruptly pull away, saying, ''That's enough,'' and then walk off.

So, do I wish this tantrum phase would pass? Do I wish that I could fast forward to an easier time ahead? Surprisingly not. Because along with all the tantrums, she also provides us with so much joy. So much surprise. I cannot tell you how often I just observe her with wonder - the way she reasons, the things she says, the jokes she makes. Her ability to comprehend; to express herself. Her vocabulary. Her clever humour.

But mostly her loving nature. I will miss the way she lies next to me at night, touching my face. How she'll throw her arms around me, saying ''I love you''. How, out of nowhere, she'll say ''Thank you Allah (God) for my mommy and my daddy and my brother and my sisters''.

So yes, I shall spend the next few months suffering her tantrums and tirades, but - at the same time, I am so thankful that I am able to experience every moment, pleasant and unpleasant, with her. I wish there was a way to capture every moment of awe and wonder which she brings to our lives. And I definitely don't wish that this time would pass faster.


Camouflaged as a harmless little girl:

 

　
Before the event triggering the transformation (No one knows what could trigger this event - this phenomenon is still subject to much research - conducted by her cautious, yet diligent siblings)

And - a few minutes later:

But the transformation has also been known to work in reverse

Before:

Utterly spent from a tantrum, she refuses to get up onto the seat and falls asleep on the floor of the car

 And - a mere half hour later

 

  Fascinating stuff.

Averting a tantrum - our staged trip to school

For a while now Aisha (2) has been asking to go to school. It has always been my plan to stay home with her until she turned three (since I hadn't had this opportunity with my other kids).

I'm not sure how I feel about her need to go to school. A bit inadequate, maybe? I thought I was providing her with a stimulating happy environment, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

She wants to be around other children. But mostly, I suspect that she imagines 'school' to be this fun place where her brother and sisters hang out together all day with other friends, playing to their hearts' content.

Yesterday morning she awoke determined to go to school with them. A tantrum ensued.

Now, you have to understand that when this happens, one can either ignore it (and the million demands that are made while she is screaming and ranting), or one can play along and indulge her demands. Both instances could result in 3-hour long screaming sessions. In fact, in the former case, one is more or less guaranteed a 3-hour long screaming session, followed by a really bad mood, which inevitably results in another tantrum soon thereafter.

Contrary to the beliefs of many, simply ignoring her does not teach her a lesson. It ups the frustration levels - hers and mine. She is stubborn. She does not simply get over it after a while, as many have suggested she will. Ignoring her generates a snowball effect of frustration, anger, screaming and ranting. It has never made the situation better.

Indulging her, on the other hand, too could result in her hissy fit continuing for a very long time (usually not 3 hours long though). But sometimes, showing her a happy,  positive, co-operative attitude actually serves to mellow her down. She is also easier to distract and I find it easier to divert her attention to something, which will make her happier.

So after 45 minutes of me attending to/ at least acknowleging her needs, she usually feels less frustrated and 'rebellious'. Often, upon me complying with a request she makes during these tirades, she eventually responds with ''Thank you mommy'' and everything is over (though this could continue for an hour as well). However, she is almost always in a better mood than after she's been ''cried out'' after 3 hours, as I've often been advised to let her do.

So, getting back to yesterday morning, when she cried to go to school. Let me start by saying that these are not the lengths to which we typically go to pacify her. Yesterday was an extreme case.

We knew that by them (Mo and the kids) leaving her behind, we (Aisha and I) would, very likely suffer an intensely miserable morning at home. Taking her with and bringing her back home after dropping them off at school, on the other hand, could possibly pacify her. It provided many more opportunities to distract her.


She insisted upon getting dressed, packing her school bag, brushing her hair and wanted a packed lunch. 

 

 

lunch

She partook in all the before-school rituals with the older kids. Like this one, where they spend time in the garden and feed the fish.

So off we went. We did not know what she expected, but suspected that she thought she was going to their school with them. We were right - as soon as they got out of the car, she immediately became teary.

As usual Nuha (7) ran to the one end of the schoolyard to wave to Mo as he drove past. This time he slowed down and rolled down Aisha's window to enable her to wave to her older sister. Bad move - she then started to cry.
''I love Nuha, '' she sniffed pitifully.
And then added, ''I want to go to school''.

Driving away from her brother and sisters' school - very sad and teary

Fortunately the creche/daycare/kindergarten in which we are planning to enrol her next year is situated on the way from the kids' school. So we decided to humour her (and test her response) by taking her to her  school. She was excited.

Until we arrived outside the school and she realised that I would not be spending the day there with her ( in this staged scenario).

Once again she became teary. She looked really afraid. By this time, I was keen to find out what I will be facing come January next year, so I asked Mo to take her inside - just to take a look around (and again, to test her reaction).

Fortunately our other three kids had all attended this daycare, so the principal was more than happy to indulge our insanity. She took them to meet the teacher in whose class Aisha will be next year.

 

According to Mo, Aisha refused to lift her head from his shoulder or to make eye contact with the teacher.

But our mission had been accomplished. She had been to school. Funnily enough, her account of the experience was very different to what Mo recalled. She later told her brother and sisters that she had been to school, seen her fwiends and had had so much fun!

Later we headed off to McDonalds, where Mo and I rewarded ourselves with a greasy breakfast, for being clever enough to outwit a 2 year old and averting a tantrum.

Though come to think of it, she had insisted upon being taken to school, which she then was. So, in actual fact, she had accomplished exactly what she'd wanted - simply by intimidating the heck out of her chumpish parents.

My darling tormentor

Aisha (2) had been carrying on for about 15 minutes. She lay shrieking and screaming; while writhing and contorting her body.

I stood and stared at her for a long while , then sat down sighing a mournful sigh. Which is when she abruptly stopped her tirade and said apologetically, '' I'm sowwy (sorry) mommy''.

I went over to her and lay my head in her chest. Seeking comfort. From a 2-year old. (Because my own mother was nowhere nearby to comfort me and tell me that this is all normal and that I am not the worst mother in the world.)

For a while, she tousled my hair and rubbed my cheek lovingly. Reassuringly.

''I love you, mommy. You are a cute girl.'' she murmered.

Right back at ya, my terrifying little darling.

Pretty mischievousness

Aisha (2) has, for the past few weeks, been even more obstinate, difficult and argumentative than usual. She refuses to have her nappy changed, to bath or eat regular food - she has no problem eating luxuries sneaked to her by relatives though.

A few days ago she refused to dress in regular clothes although it was freezing. Instead she wanted to wear something 'pweddy' (pretty). Eventually I could no longer fight her, so I opted to capture her cuteness/ mischievousness on camera instead.

 

With all the grace of a baby hippo

Is it time to send Aisha to playschool/ creche? *sob*

It has always been my plan to send Aisha (2) to creche/playschool after the age of three. She is my last baby, so I wanted to do everything with her that I regret not having done with the other three (like breastfeed for longer than four months, spend copious amounts of time playing, kissing, hugging and bonding before playschool began.

And that's exactly what I've done. Enjoyed hugs, kisses and playtime in abundance; breastfed for so long that I don't know how to stop (but that's another story altogether) and just enjoyed showering her with all the attention I regret not having had the opportunity to do with the others.

Aisha, while being the most loving and cuddly little thing, has become so accustomed to everyone in our home giving her way, that she launches into tirades which last for hours upon having her requests denied. Usually when I am alone with her, I am able to cope with these outbursts - I usually distract her or just simply walk away, leaving her to scream. However, when other people (outside my immediate family) are around, I usually succumb to her demands, as I don't want her to upset them or cause them to have a negative opinion of her. [Which, according to comments overheard by my other kids, have people saying that I don't discipline her. So much for my attempts at people-pleasing ]. When the other kids come home from school, I am able to ignore her tantrums and demands until Nuha (7) starts to beg, '' Mommy, please just give her what she wants''. That means I usually end up with two kids nagging at me until I comply. The older two will just go over my head and grant her requests - just to shut her up. Her father is no better. The mere sound of unhappiness in his baby's voice has him scurrying around to find whatever it is that she's demanding.

These outbursts are becoming more frequent. I cannot help but wonder if she won't be happier in creche/playschool. Is she bored of our usual routine? I have tried to stimulate her mind by reading, writing and drawing with her. We play with the pets and sit in the garden. She's developed a renewed interest in Barney. Is there something I'm missing? Something else I should be doing?

She often talks to me about 'her school', '' Mommy, I play with my friends at school. I draw and play in the sand (she'd seen children play in the sandpit in Nuha's school playground). There's my teacher'', she'd say, pointing at one of her stuffed animals. She often approaches me, crayon and paper in hand, saying, '' Mommy, teach me please''.

However, the thought of yanking my poor baby (who just loves her morning lie-in) out of bed and into the icy weather just seems so cruel. She'll be getting up early and leaving the comfort of her warm home for the rest of her life. Why should she start doing it at 2 years old already?

I'm just so confused about what to do.

Hip hip hooray - she's back!

My joyful, cute, smiling, adorable baby (2) has returned after weeks of hour-long tantrums, grumpiness and misery. I am experiencing all the relief of a person realising that the huge terrifying bear , which had been chasing her for miles, had been temporarily distracted by a jar of honey. Nervous joy. Knowing that the respite will most likely be short-lived. But so grateful for the fleeting relief.


Yesterday morning, as I heard her gradually awaken from her surprisingly sound restful sleep, my stomach did its usual nervous flip. What would she cry about? Would it be my hair? The fact that she didn't like what I was wearing? I held my breath.


''Mommy?'' she inquired, checking if I was nearby. I peered over the mountain of blankets which she had kicked off,  nervously checking her expression. I was greeted by a huge smile - her increasingly- rare, nearly-forgotten beautiful smile. I choked back tears of relief and joy.
''Mommeeee!!!!'' she shrieked happily. Yes, happily! I prayed silently that her mood would last a while longer.


And it did. In fact it lasted for the whole day. And for the whole of this morning. There've been smiles, laughter, dancing and singing. So much joy. Mine and hers.


I've been planting dozens of kisses all over her chubby little face. I've missed her so much.
''I yuv you sooo muts'' (She still hasn't mastered saying the 'ch' sound, which makes her accent sound very Cape Flats), she said a million times, hugging me.
I loved it when she took my face in her hands, stared deeply into my eyes and said, ''You're a good girl, Mommy, '' echoing the words I'd been saying to her for the whole day. My desperate attempt at positive reinforcement - in the hopes that she'd remember those words when her next tantrum was about to hit. Hoping that she'd remember that she was a good girl - and that that realisation would magically defuse the explosion.

But thankfully it hasn't come to that yet. She has just finished breakfast, chatting away happily - after having spent a few minutes shaking her hips shamelessly to the neighbours' blaring ''I'm sexy and I know it''.

She is on her way to the doctor with her dad, where her liver will be examined to see if it has reduced in size (It had been a bit enlarged at last week's visit). I'm praying that everything is normal in that regard.

I'm so relieved and happy right now. Although this past week has been difficult I have never stopped counting and appreciating my blessings. Just now, with Aisha's return to her normal happy self, this has been so much easier to do.

Let's hope and pray that this light, joy and positive energy are here to stay.

Finding the silver lining

Aisha (2) has a viral infection - which is making her even grumpier than usual.

She has a fever, a slight phlegmy cough, congested nose - and yesterday had diarrhoea while Mo and I were in the middle of our scheduled parent-teacher meeting with Nuha (7)'s teacher. Needless to say, within seconds we had swept Aisha out of the classroom mid-meeting with promises to keep in touch with the teacher - the odour of slightly sour poo trailing behind us (Thank goodness that was all that was trailing behind us).

We changed her nappy with her standing next to the car on the pavement in front of the school.

At the doctor's surgery she was uncharacteristically charming. (Okay, to be fair, she is really sweet and funny when she's in a good mood). She smiled at the doctor, obeyed instructions to open and say 'aaah' and breathed deeply when told to do so. I couldn't believe she was the same child who'd been ordering me about the whole day.

Ordering me about is what she does lately. Impatiently. Grumpily. But for a while now, I'd stopped yielding to her demands. This means more tantrums. Long exhausting tantrums which continue until she is hoarse. I remember Nuha being like this as a toddler. I keep wondering if that is the reason for her raspy voice. Aisha, too is developing a husky voice, which I swear is a result of her constant shrieking which continues until her voice is gone.

Every morning she orders me to take off my rather ugly spectacles, with a disgusted, '' 'Pecs off mommy! 'pecs off now!''
Her other irritant is my tendency to tuck my hair in the back of my pyjama top to keep it out of my way. ''Hair out!'' she'll order.
Since I used to comply (or even pre-empt and then address her annoyances before she raised them), she had become quite accustomed to getting her way.

Recently she has added to her list of demands. Yesterday, as I was getting ready to pray, she insisted that I take off my prayer clothes. She didn't want me to pray, as it would take my attention off from her.

Later she cried when I slipped on my warm fluffy winter gown, insisting that I put on other clothes (which she regarded as being prettier). This applies to any other clothes which she regards as being unattractive.

Half glasses of milk I pour her are shoved back at me with an instruction to replace it with ''Big milk'' (meaning a full glass, which I know she will never finish). The same applies to half slices of bread, half of apples etc etc.

This morning, after realising that I had taken off my spectacles to placate her, she insisted that I take out my contact lenses too. At which point, I just walked away laughing - the child had clearly lost her mind.

She had awoken before the other kids left for school (which never happens). To prevent her from crying after them I told her we could accompany Mo when he dropped them off - he could then bring us back home before dashing off to work. She refused the offer, insisting that she wanted to stay home and wave goodbye from the porch. They had just backed out of the driveway when (as I'd expected she would) she started to scream. I locked the gate out front (to ensure her safety)and came inside - leaving her to torment the neighbourhood the way she does me.

I sat down (watching her) with a cup of tea trying to salvage the remaining shreds of my rapidly dwindling sanity. I nibbled on a peanut butter and fig jam sandwich (fig jam for the much needed, stress-beating soothing sweetness). She cried, made demands and screamed. I sat staring at her numbly.

And then she stopped.

Exhausted she waddled over to me, climbed onto my lap and lifted my top. Boobies save the day, once again. Still latched she looked up at me - and smiled. I melted - just a bit.  I was still furious at her for having had such an impact on me. She smiled again. Broadly - nipple still in mouth.

I melted. Completely.

Feelings of love, protectiveness and sadness wash over me. I wish I could make her happy. I wish I knew what to do to to prevent her from feeling the frustration and unhappiness she so obviously experiences during her tirades. I wish I could strike the balance - making her happy without spoiling her. I wish I knew which battles to pick so that we don't spend the entire day at war.

Though I must admit, having her so grumpy these days has made her happy moments so much sweeter. I appreciate and savour every little smile, joke or giggle which I'd ordinarily just take for granted. And I'm grateful that although she is going through a difficult time right now, she is healthy (Alhamdulillah!!!) and generally a really clever, happy girl with a remarkable sense of humour.

I love and appreciate the complicated little girl that she is.

My sincere prayer for this morning- please give me a day of smiles and cuteness; and not tirades and hissy-fits

A few months ago, you might remember my struggle with two year old Aisha's tantrums. They terrified me. Then, as suddenly as they'd appeared, they stopped. Foolishly, I did not take a moment to appreciate the respite - I just took it for granted.

For another few months she was an absolute delight. On so many occasions I remembered wishing that I could freeze the moment - or at least remember how cute she was being, the hilarious comments she passed in her delightful innocence or the adorable expressions on her face. Priceless; never-to-be-repeated moments. Oh, it was a wonderful time - but sadly, I remember very few of its details.

I don't know why I did not think to record these important little details - the way I had recorded the details of her tantrums which had gone before. I guess that's the price I'm paying for not taking the time to smell the roses.

Yes, our tantrums are back - with a vengence. I'm on egg-shells all the time. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the fact that she may be teething - her last four molars seem to be ready to make their appearance. But it could take months.

But last night she delighted us with a glimpse into her delightful nature for a few minutes - dancing to the tunes of her sisters' High School Musical DVD. It reminded me of how, in those glorious months not too long ago, she used to shuffle to the ''Party Rock Anthem''. (I might upload a video I took of her and her sisters - once I replenish my rapidly diminishing data bundle at the end of  the month). It was so cute and hilarious.

I remember how she had certain 'phrases' or sentences which she had just enjoyed saying. I know she knew the meaning thereof, because I had heard her use them in context before, but it was as if she just awoke one morning and decided that she'd insert them into every conversation - whether applicable and relevant, or not. I later realised that she was imitating all her older siblings' lines and mannerisms.

So our conversations had become really bizarre.

Me: Aisha, would you like some toast or porridge?

Aisha: I know!! (rolling her eyes with mock exasperation)

Me: Huh?


or

Me: Aisha, what are you watching?

Aisha: I caaan't! I don't know hoooow! (throwing up her hands in fake frustration)

Ookay then.

or

Me: Oh, I'm so hungry.


Aisha: But whyyyyy?! Whyyyy?! (gesturing dramatically)

But although her conversations often left me confused, sometimes they warmed my heart - as what she said was very appropriate. She and my mum were lazing on a rock at our usual river spot one day, when she took my mum's face in her hands and said, ''So cuuuuute!!!''

Another time I was ranting and raving while looking for the TV remote.
''Why do you guys have to play with the remote? Can't you just leave it on one spot? Why do I have to look for it EVERY SINGLE TIME I want to change the channel. (Which incidentally I could have done ten times as I was walking past the TV to look for the remote). But annoyance replaced reason, as I moaned and groaned; ranted and raved.
''This is ridiculous! This happens every time!!''
Just then Aisha sighed a loud dramatic sigh, '' Mommy, but I yuv you!''
Thereby placing my stupid tantrum in context by showing me what really counts.

Not too long ago it was Mo's turn. The kids had been bickering more than usual and it was clearly working on his last nerve. So as an argument ensued at the table (probably about whether Tharaa had secretly dropped her broccoli into Shakeel's plate), Mo just snapped.
''This is ridiculous! If you keep this up, I shall !"£$% each one of you. I'm getting sick of this ^&*(''

His eyes bulged as he yelled and screamed. Everyone looked down at their half-eaten food - afraid to make eye contact with him. He continued for a few minutes; threatening and venting.
When Aisha shook her head and giggled, ''Daddy, you cwazy'' - thereby echoing the thoughts of everyone at the table. Everyone (including crazy daddy) burst into fits of laughter.
What would we do without our disarming little darling?

So, as I wait for her to awaken this morning, I say a silent prayer that her mood will be pleasant. I have already put in my contact lenses, since the first thing that sets her off in the mornings is seeing me with my (rather ugly) spectacles.
''  'Pecs off!'' she'll yell angrily.
I have also brushed my hair and let it hang down over my shoulders. Many a tantrum has started because of my annoying tendency to twist my hair into a bun or tuck it down the back of my pyjama top (to keep it out of my way).

So I eliminate all potential annoyances ('pecs off - check; hair hanging down - check) and start my silent prayer that she'll wake up happy, and hopefully  return to being the little angel she was a few months ago - I promise to savour each second this time around.

Grumpy and Grouchy- the one where I took charge

This morning Tharaa awoke with a very bad head- and tummy ache, accompanied by nausea. Mo gave her Stilpayne and permission to stay home from school today.

Bad mother that I am, I silently rejoiced- another person to keep two-year old Aisha occupied before the kids get home from school!!

But my happiness was short-lived. I entered Tharaa's room to the sound of her groaning and moaning.
"I'm hungry, and there's nothing to eat but stupid toast," she complained.
"What about some yoghurt or fruit?" I suggested sensing the lovely morning I had envisioned- sipping tea while surfing the net- slip away.
"Yuck. I don't want stupid yoghurt or stupid disgusting fruit either. Why do we have nothing in this house? Argghhh!!!
I was sitting next to her on the bed with a smile frozen on my face, while chatting away to her in a cheery tone, which was assuming a higher and higher pitch, the more I tried to control my irritation at her.

"Would you like to watch an episode of  F.R.I.E.N.D.S with me?" I asked, referring to this family's favourite sitcom, which each of us has probably watched twenty times. We randomly select episodes from this hilarious sitcom whenever we are bored, unhappy or just need something to watch; and usually end up laughing at it hysterically each time we watch it. I was hoping that Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Ross would be able to work their magic on my grumpy daughter.

"Okay then,"she said sulkily, as if she was doing me a HUGE favour. So we went into the lounge, only to find Aisha watching the love of her life- Barney the annoying purple dinosaur. She was staring at the screen with a slight smile on her face, as if in a trance; while hugging her toy Barney closely to her chest.

Uh oh. Why had I not thought to check if the DVD player was available? (Yes we still own a few DVDs).

What to do? Did I switch off Barney and face a tantrum of terrifying proportions? Or allow Aisha to continue watching Barney and deal with a Ms Grumpy's moaning and grumbling.

After hyperventilating for a few seconds, the adult in me decided that enough was enough. It was time to take charge. The television would be switched off and I would force them to spend some time in the garden. The fresh air was bound to cheer them up.

I stepped confidently toward the TV. Aisha shrieked. I backed away hurriedly- and pointed out the window. "Did you see that hee-uuge cat outside?"

"Where?" she asked, getting up to run into the garden. I smiled to myself. Victory. Tharaa rolled her eyes. Who cared? I had gotten my way. I was in charge.

Tharaa lay on the reclining chair on the porch, while Aisha tottered about the garden with the heavy watering can, pouring a few droplets of water on some plants and half-drowning others. I sat on the step admiring the patterned shadows caused by the sun as it penetrated the dense leaves of our lemon/orange tree (we still don't know what the heck this tree bears- it is a winter fruit which looks like lemons but tastes like oranges). I lay my back against the wall enjoying the feeling of the lovely warm breeze against my cheeks. I glanced over at Tharaa, who had a slight smile on her face as she watched Aisha who was pouring the water over her toes and squishing them into the grass, completely unaware that her ill-fitting panty was leaving half of her bum exposed.

Mmm, contentment at last.

We remained in the garden until I could see that the heat was becoming too much for poor Tharaa, who was becoming lethargic, despite the fact that she had stopped moaning.
   
                                   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that we have returned from fetching the other kids from school, I have noticed that Tharaa is becoming feverish as well. We shall have to get her to a doctor as soon as Mo gets home.

Since my feelings of maternal nurturing, protectiveness and empathy were being strained to the limit today, I forced myself to imagine how awful she must be feeling by revisiting the first trimester of all my pregnancies, when nausea and tummy aches had had me moaning and whining constantly.

Poor thing. I think I'll go and ask her if she wants some toast.

Goudini heat

On Thursday we spent the night at Goudini spa.

This is a lovely resort to visit during the cold winter months. With its choice of heated pools (varying from cool to hot), this is the perfect way to enjoy the outdoors during winter, while still staying warm.

But, since it is now summer, and the past few days have been really hot, our visit to Goudini was less than ideal.

When we arrived on Thursday, we were enveloped by the most overpowering heat, resulting in me developing an instant headache.

After unpacking we went off to the coolest pool in search of some relief from our discomfort, but even this pool was as warm as one's bath water.

No one swam. Everyone stood about in the pool, looking as lethargic as I was feeling. I realised that wetting one's body entirely and then getting out of the pool provided one with some degree of temporary coolness, which felt like a few moments of utter bliss.

This is the hot outdoor pool- it was far too hot to even sit in this pool

Later we traipsed lazily back to the rondawel, hoping that the fan would provide some relief before we sat down for supper. I was so glad that, I had had the good sense to insist upon giving the braaing (barbequing) a break, and had brought along chicken pasta (prepared at home on Thursday morning) for supper.

Despite my heat-induced haze, I vaguely remember Aisha peeing through her Swimmers nappy (which is only designed to catch baby's poo while swimming) and onto the rondawel floor numerous times that afternoon.Yet she refused to let us take it off to put on a normal nappy. And we had no energy to fight her. It took all Mo's energy to mop the floor each time, while I irritably tossed her into the shower each time, threatening her with serious consequences if she did it again. She giggled, most likely enjoying tormenting her poor zombie-like parents the whole afternoon.

On Thursday night the temperatures outside dropped slightly. This made swimming at night an absolute pleasure. Mo and I did not swim, but sat next to the pool enjoying the slightly cool air.

Shakeel thoroughly enjoyed leaping from the cool pool to the hot one, in which about thirty people were lazing about watching the movie 'Transformers', which was playing on a very large screen in front of the pool. The atmosphere was so inviting, but I had to head back to the rondawel with Aisha, who was threatening to pee through her Swimmers nappies at any moment.

That night Aisha slept between Mo and me, adding to the uncomfortable heat in the rondawel. I have no idea what the time was that she awoke and threw a tantrum of note. I had been expecting a rough night, since she hates getting hot- she does not even want to sleep with a blanket on the coldest of nights. We knew that she had awoken the neighbours with her shrieking when someone switched on their porch light, most likely letting us know that we had awoken them. After about 45 minutes she calmed down, probably too drained to persist as long as she normally would. Who would have thought that the heat would also turn out to be a blessing.

Friday was slightly cooler (though not much). We had had to book out of the rondawel, but could laze around by the pool for the rest of the day.

Nuha was incredibly excited, since it was her birthday. She has been planning her birthday since the middle of this year- inviting friends and talking about her party. Who would have thought that she would not even be home to have a party on her birthday. Her happiness at it being her birthday did not stop her from nagging that she was not able to enjoy her party on her birthday. She was not comforted by the fact that we were making last-minute plans for a birthday party at home the following morning.

In the pool it was so much fun watching the Goudini staff entertain the holiday-makers by leading them in an Aqua-aerobics class, and dances. Although more activities had been scheduled according to the programme, these did not take place, which I can only assume was due to the heat.

At about midday Mo left to attend mosque in Worcester (which is about 25 kilometers away from Goudini). I stayed at the pool with the kids. And then; as if she had been planning it; just as her dad left, Aisha once again threw a massive tantrum beside the pool.

I tried to appear to be more composed than what I felt. The child was screaming like a freakin' maniac, attracting sympathetic stares from some people, and annoyed glares from others.

Later the kids enjoyed time on the huge water-slide. Mo took Aisha down the slide too, which strangely did not evoke any reaction from her. Considering the height of the slide and the speed at which one comes down, this was rather surprising. I remember my first time on the slide (since my childhood)- I had been shaky and dizzy for a while afterward, teaching me that one should probably not hold one's breath for extended periods if one doesn't want to pass out.

The kids also spent time playing mini-golf; which, as usual, resulted in a massive argument among my competitive kids.

I have been visiting Goudini for a few years now, and yet the beautifully landscaped gardens never cease to impress me. The beautiful palm trees ensure that I always experience that typical 'holiday feeling' whenever we arrive.

Despite our general discomfort due to the heat, we were still quite sad to leave. I really hope to return during the winter months.