Happiness and smiles as my baby brother gets hitched!!!!!!!

(This is the first part of a post on my brother's wedding. I hope to do another post with more detail in the near future إن شاء الله)

On Saturday my baby brother, Sh. (aged 30, but to me he'll always be my baby bro) got married. The date for his wedding had only been set a few short weeks ago, so much preparation had had to be done in a very limited space of time.

One of the major changes was that my other brother, Is. (aged 37ish) and his family were to move into my mother's house (with my mother) after the wedding, while the groom-to-be and his new wifey would move into the smaller adjacent property in which Is. had been staying since his own wedding 10 years ago. Needless to say, the weeks preceding the wedding were filled with much hustle and bustle and emotional moments, as those involved suddenly found themselves needing to adjust to huge changes in their lives.

It was decided that, contrary to tradition, our family and our guests would be hosted by the brides family at their home. What a generous gesture on their part!

My mother was left with having to get the house ready for the bridal couple (with particular emphasis on the bruidskamer (bridal chamber / honeymoon suite), since it is custom for the family and friends to meet at and view the room after the nikah (wedding ceremony) and reception have taken place. (This is usually accompanied by prayer/s, short speech/es and well wishes given by a respected elder/s, but we did not plan to do this, as it is merely customary and not obligated by Islam.)

My mother was so lucky to have had some amazing helpers to assist her with these preparations. My sister-in-law, Mf. was absolutely extraordinary in that she managed to conduct her own move across to my mother's house, but then also took charge of the interior decorating of the bridal couple's new home.

My mother also relied heavily on Sh.'s close friends who ran errands, carried, fixed and just basically were at the family's beck and call for the entire process. How blessed they are to have such unselfish people in their lives!

On Friday morning (the morning before the wedding), in executing last minute wedding arrangements, Sh. - our then-groom-to-be - suffered a little accident when a faulty boot-lid of a car fell on his hand, breaking a few bones. The poor thing was rushed to hospital and, since it was a public hospital, that is where he spent the entire day before his wedding. His hand was bound in a cast and he was sent home with instructions to return on Monday when he would undergo an operation.


The morning of the wedding arrived and I was even more nervous than my brother was (and he was nervous!). I so much wanted everything to go well for him - on the day, and in his marriage. I prayed desperately that the Almighty grant him happiness - I so much wanted him to feel contentment, peace and joy - I don't even recall praying so hard for myself on the morning of my own wedding.

Also there were moments that morning, which really had me choked up - I really wished that my father had been there - I know that he would have been so happy to see Sh. get married. But I know that his death was God/Allah's will and I accept that the Almighty knows best. I was particularly emotional when I saw Is. , (who he is younger than I am but has, since the death of my father, assumed the role of the boeta - big brother - of the family) take charge of helping Sh. to get dressed, since his injured hand was making that task quite difficult to accomplish by himself. My aunts and uncles stood around watching this spectacle, all the while teasing him that while it was okay for the groom to rely on his boeta's help that morning, he'd be on his own that night - among other similarly disturbing remarks. I was grateful for the jesting and teasing because I was becoming quite emotional witnessing the bond between my 2 brothers, knowing full well how proud my father would have been at that moment.

For me, these are some of the sweetest moments of the day - right here

Awww, my two boeties ♥♥♥♥♥

But hey, what about me ???? I am the tietie, after all

The nikah (marriage ceremony) and reception ran smoothly and beautifully. The groom even remembered the lines which would transform him from a single stud to a happily married man.

After the nikah the bride and groom came downstairs to the reception area, where they  were showered with love and well-wishes from friends and family.

Aww, there they are again. The boeta wishing our baby bro after the nikah. Too sweet.

And that's me wishing my boetie - determined not to cry (it's not everyday I get to wear eye make-up, after all)

And there she is - my new sis-in-law (let's call her Sf). Beautiful 
ماشا الله

The proud mother of the groom

Close friends of the bride and groom, without whose assistance my mother would have had a really difficult time

With T. , our new nephew and a new cuzzie for my kids - yay!!!

With my husband Mo - our photographer for the day

With Uncle Sonny - I don't think he'd mind me using his name

Another awwww moment

Already such a good wife - I can learn so much

With my dad's fun-loving family - this was another moment during which I really felt his absence

All the aunties

After the wedding, the close family headed to the bruidskamer,  although the family decided to forgo all the traditional customs surrounding this. But I was secretly happy that they did not forgo the visit to the bruidskamer altogether, as I was happy that my other sis-in-law, Mf. would receive the acknowledgement for a job very well (and unselfishly) done.

One of the behind-the-scenes stars of the day - our very own interior decorator

This antique cupboard belonged to my late grandfather

I can say with absolute honesty that I haven't felt this contentment within myself for a long time - I am so overwhelmed with gratitude that my brother has found such a lovely woman with whom to spend the rest of his life. Although he is known to be jolly and fun-loving, I can truly say that I have never seen him smile as much as he did on his wedding day - even after his hand started to pain later in the afternoon. May Allah keep them smiling always. May He bless their marriage with happiness, peace, contentment and love. May little T. grow up knowing that he is loved by all his family (including us). I pray with all my heart that Allah grant them the best of this life and the Hereafter إن شاء الله.

And again, to Sf, I say - Welcome to our family!!!!!! 

Aisha's kindergarten concert success

After months of intense practice sessions, Aisha (3)'s creche/preschool concert was held on Saturday.

Since my 3 older kids had also attended this kindergarten, I was well aware of the months of arduous preparation that goes into this event. Training takes place on a daily basis and school schedules are adjusted accordingly. Parents (myself excluded) and teachers conjure up the loveliest little costumes which obviously depend on the theme of the concert for that particular year.

This year was no exception. Although we were treated to tidbits of their performance when Aisha was in the mood, we really had no clue as to what to expect. I was actually quite anxious about how she would react when walking out onto the stage in front of an unexpectedly crowded auditorium. I tried to prepare her for this at the older kids' talent show a few weeks ago by turning her around to face the crowd (since we were sitting close to the front) and telling her that that was what she could expect to see at her own concert. 

But I needn't have worried. As the kids confidently strode onto the stage, most of them had the self-assuredness of stage performers who had been wowing audiences for years. While we waited for Aisha (who was to enter second last in her class) to walk in, we held our breaths in nervous anticipation of her tears - but our little star delighted us with a broad smile and by enthusiastically waving at us (we were sitting right in front so she could see us clearly). 

Eventually my mother had to tell me to stop waving at her as she seemed to have forgotten where she was and was waving at her family excitedly instead of participating in the performance.

As is customary at the school, the first part of the show focused on the Islamic performances, with children reciting a duah (supplication) followed by a qasida 

Although we had a plain burqa which she could have worn and despite the fact that people often laugh at this frilly one which, admittedly, makes her look like Little Bo Peep - for me, the fact that it is so comical actually makes it cute (for someone her age only - you won't necessarily see me strutting about in Canal Walk looking like a maiden in search of her lost sheep).

The theme for this year's concert was "Around the world in 5 whirlwind visits". Each of the 5 classes represented a different country. 

Aisha's class represented Spain. We were told to drop them backstage with them wearing their black T shirt and black pumps under their Islamic wear. So imagine our surprise when they emerged looking like this.

Of course, everything did not go strictly according to plan, especially in the case of the Level One performers - many of whom were about 1 year old and some of whom started to cry (as I too would at the sight of a hundred people staring at me) - but despite this, the children's wonderful efforts evoked so much pride and joy from excited families. 

Level One (baby class) representing South Africa

Cape Minstrels

 Level 2s representing India

Level 3s (Aisha's class) representing Spain

Level 4s representing Mexico

Level 5s representing China 

The kids doing the most impressive dragon dance

Aisha seemed to lose interest in her performance about halfway through and decided to casually look around, examining the awesome props until we made eye contact with her and signalled her to participate in the performance.

I was amazed at how these tiny people were able to remember their dance steps and their lines and how confidently they performed in front of this excited shrieking crowd, which was made up of incredibly proud mommies and daddies; family and friends. I was so impressed at what those fabulous teachers had managed to accomplish with these little performers, some of whom could be quite temperamental, I'm sure.

Once again the staff and children of this kindergarten managed to pull off a successful show, creating memories upon which we will look back fondly and proudly again and again, (as we would have done with our older kids had our pictures and videos of their concerts not been deleted/ lost due to camera theft). 

Aisha with her teachers and some of her classmates

Anticipating the results of weeks of hard work

For the past 3 weeks we've been caught up in a flurry of school-related activities. The older kids were bombarded with projects and tests, which usually have me all stressed out and grumpy.

Strangely, this time, I actually enjoyed most of it. I thoroughly enjoyed preparing the kids for their tests and it seemed that the less they knew at the beginning of their study sessions, the happier I was - because it enabled me to live out my 'homeschooling mum' fantasy, which I don't think will die very soon. This term Shakeel (14) worked quite well on his own - for the most part. He'd ask for help here and there, but I was happy to see that the study methods which we'd used over the years (when I used to work more closely with him) are standing him in good stead and allowing him to cover the bulk of the work without my assistance. 

Shakeel working on a project with his friend and classmate

Making time to play with one of his lovebirds

Working with Tharaa (11), on the other hand, took up the bulk of my time, energy and patience. In the previous post I mentioned how I would no longer write about my kids in a way that could embarrass or upset them when they read the post later on, so I'll just say that Tharaa and I had some challenging moments, but thank goodness, that's all behind us now. On the one hand I was alarmed to see that, a few days before her tests, she often did not even understand the typed handouts in her book (upon which all the tests were based). I am not one to automatically blame the teacher, as it is possible that she was not paying attention as she should have been. What was so alarming was the fact that she had achieved the top scores across the entire sixth grade during the first term, yet now, a few months later, she was completely baffled by the contents of her books. It also didn't help that the school's talent show, in which she sang and for which she had practised so hard, took place the night before she was scheduled to write History and Maths!!! 

Like I said earlier, although I was alarmed at the fact that she was so unprepared for her tests, I was thrilled to have this clean slate upon which to practice my teaching skills (because, really, she was a clean slate - it was as if she was seeing the work for the first time!) But I enjoyed it and she responded well. Maths required much revision of the basics and I let her use the invaluable khanacademy.org to brush up on her newly acquired skills. For the other learning areas (History, Geography and Natural Science) I firstly familiarised myself with her typed notes and textbooks, after which I set about explaining it to her. She grasped concepts instantly and answered questions accurately - which has me absolutely baffled as to why she did not know what was happening in any of these subjects when we started studying. After all, the study period is supposed to serve merely to refresh one's memory and consolidate that which one has already learned - especially at Grade 6 level. But, my concerns were outweighed by my own silent glee and pride (in myself) each time she yelled out, " NOW I understand!"  once I'd explained a section of work. (Yes, I know - I really need to get a hobby - or a job).

Written by Tharaa - dedicated to her best friends

Tharaa hard at work

Projects were an entirely different story. Her Natural Science project involved making an electric circuit using a battery, conducting wires and 2 output components (a buzzer and a light). They were required to construct a game using the circuit which would result on the buzzer or light being activated by the flow of the current. Although I understood that the game should involve closing a break in the circuit allowing the current to flow from the input component (the battery) which would then activate the buzzer and light, I had no idea how this would be done. Fortunately this type of challenge is what gets Mo (her dad)'s juices flowing, so together they built a game which earned a her 100%. 

Although I am happy with her result, I have a HUGE problem with this type of project, which clearly requires heavy reliance on an adult. Although I agree that parents should be involved in kids' education, what does this type of project mean for children of parents who have absolutely no education? Tharaa told us about a girl in her class being raised by a single mum, who submitted a cell attached to a light bulb, which sadly did not work. This girl only managed to get 30% for her and her mum's efforts. Why should children's grades depend on their parents' abilities and educational level? One thing is for certain - if I were the only one guiding Tharaa through this project, my daughter would have achieved far less than her friend's 30%. Why should the fact that my daughter had McGuyver to guide her, stand her in better stead than her friend whose parent's skills do not extend to building circuits. This project, in no way, reflected the ability of the kids to build circuits or even on their own understanding of their workings. 

So after much explaining, pain, confusion; followed by small moments of sweet victory, Tharaa's tests eventually ended. 

With the older kids' assessments and Aisha (3)'s new bout of unexplained tantrums, poor Nuha (8) once again fell through the cracks. I know that she too was busy with formal assessments, but I had very little time left to help her. She was preparing a project and an oral on solar systems, when - upon giving it a quick once-over (which, sadly is how I check her work most of the time) I came across words like "interstellar" and "centaurs",  which forced me to take time out to explain the concept of plagiarism and how one cannot simply copy huge chunks of information from Wikipedia. I got her to read each paragraph to me and then explain it in her own words before writing it down on her poster. This also made memorising the information much easier as she understood the concepts quite well. I really have to get the older kids to work more independently so that I can spend more time with my patient and understanding daughter. 

In addition to me neglecting Nuha's studies during the assessment period, I'd very often rely on the poor angel to keep Aisha busy so that I can focus on the heavy workload of the older kids. 

My most independent child (not by choice, poor thing)

Aisha, in the meantime, apart from throwing the most frightening tantrums at the drop of a hat, is also busy practising for her school concert. To maintain the element of surprise, parents are being kept in the dark about the performances, but I'm told that she surprises her teachers each time by coming out of her shell completely when the music starts and then proceeding to shake her booty shamelessly. 

So now we eagerly await the assessment results which we'll receive at the end of the school term (in 2 weeks time). We are also really excited about watching Aisha's very first concert this Saturday. The following few weeks therefore promise to be really exciting for our family as we reap the rewards (hopefully) of many weeks of hard work. Let's pray that it all pays off.